Hope

Kristopher Brus • October 14, 2020

Bill Valentine's life changed forever when his daughter, Christina, committed suicide in 2014. A year later, after receiving a grant from the Where Angels Play Foundation, he unveiled his pursuit of peace... The Jackson Garden of Hope. Similar to the way Stephanie's affinity to butterflies guided the creation of the Stephanie Nicole Parze Foundation, Christina's father found inspiration in her simple tattoo, an anchor with the single word, "HOPE". 


The park itself is in the shape of an anchor.  Upon entering, you are met with three flags on huge flagpoles and a plaque displayed on a carved granite stone stating, "GARDEN OF HOPE". Three gazebos furnish the park, two at each palm and one at the crown. Each gazebo floor is lined with individual stones memorializing loved ones lost. Many are still blank, but those with names and dates are adorned with photos, coins, flowers, angels and other trinkets that mean something special to those who suffer from their loss. Just outside, there are large granite stones displaying cameo photos, assigning faces to the engraved names. At the crown, the third gazebo stands with a sign in the center, navigating those in need, to resources for help. 


When I first drove up, I wasn't sure what to expect or how it would make me feel. Surprisingly, I quickly found myself at ease. The personalization of each memorial brings life to the garden. The photos compiled together made their existence very real, quite a different experience from visiting a cemetery or mausoleum. The Garden of Hope is much more of a place of appreciation and of love than it is of loss. It actually feels hopeful. There are fir trees decorated with ornaments, a gesture signifying that even after death, the normalcy of everyday life continues. Seasons and holidays still come, but here, it feels safe to celebrate each new day with our loved ones lost.


It's hard to put into words what Mr. Valentine has accomplished. The Garden of Hope is a place of peace. Even standing by myself, I did not feel alone. Each picture represented not only a person, but a family who, on some level, is just like mine. In some ways, they have gone through the same things I have. They visit here for many of the same reasons. And, for each blank space, we all realize that there are others yet to come. It was with that thought that I felt the overwhelming desire to welcome them with a hug and the reassurance that there is still hope. Hope is what will keep them going even when they don't want to. Hope is what will help them find their way forward when their pain just wants them to go back. It is hope that can help them find forgiveness and acceptance. It's hope that this life and beyond has more to offer. It is the hope no one is really gone forever and that we all will one day meet again.


The Parze family is extremely grateful that Stephanie has been included in the garden. She continues to live on and I would not be surprised at all if, on my next visit, I was accompanied by butterflies and maybe even a rainbow. Our hearts and appreciation go out to the Valentine family and all of the families who have had a loved one inducted into The Garden of Hope.


The Garden of Hope is located at 334 Jackson Mills Road, Jackson, NJ 08527


You can join their group on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/JacksonsGardenofHope


For more photos from the Garden of Hope, see our Gallery page.

SNPF Blog

1 Year Later

By Kristopher Brus • January 3, 2021
(Original Post Date 11/01/2020) This was an especially hard weekend for everyone who knew and loved Stephanie. What began as a search and rescue mission one year ago, ended in our worst nightmare 87 days later. More than Stephanie died a year ago. There is a part of each of us that left with her. The void is a constant reminder of how much her life meant and how much she mattered. But she is not lost. Stephanie is here, guiding us along a path we never knew existed. It is because of Stephanie that the Stephanie Nicole Parze Foundation exists. It is because of Stephanie that new friendships have been formed and old ones rekindled. It is because of Stephanie that our community has come together to become a team that we never were before. It's because of Stephanie, and the value of her life, that others are here today. It becomes harder to ask, "Why Stephanie?" when you receive a message from someone who is alive and has left their abuser because of Stephanie's story. And those messages come, time and time again. They don't make us hurt any less, but they strengthen the belief that Stephanie's ultimate purpose is bigger than all of us. So now what? Every day that we commit to Stephanie and continuing her foundation's mission is another day that she lives on. So many ask, "How can I help?" First, if you ask, mean it. Next... -Become a member of The Stephanie Nicole Parze Foundation -Utilize educational resources (attend an online workshop, research information on reputable websites like www.thehotline.org or www.180nj.org ) -Be a resource and offer information -Know the signs -Make a donation -Volunteer -Listen -Take notice of what's going on around you; don't ignore what you see -Be available -Talk about it, especially with your children Most of all, remember Stephanie. Remember her smile, her joy and how much light she brought into our lives. Remember that her story didn't stop a year ago. This is the anniversary of when her introduction ended and her true story began.

Connecting Through Color

By Kristopher Brus • October 14, 2020
"Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud." - Maya Angelou October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It's no coincidence that the Stephanie Nicole Parze Foundation chose this month to kick off one of our biggest events, the 1st Annual 5K Butterfly Color Run/Walk. Stephanie loved art. She loved color. She loved butterflies. When we sat down and brainstormed event ideas, the idea of a color run seemed so fitting. If you look back at the images from previous events, rainbows have appeared out of, what seemed at the time, virtually nowhere. Her life, her vibrance, her passion and her beauty always seems to manifest in an array of colors. If you are reading this blog post, something, somehow, brought you to us. The Parze Family and The Stephanie Nicole Parze Foundation would love to see all of you. While this event is a fundraiser, it's true purpose is to give us another opportunity to meet our supporters and allow all of you to connect with us and feel what it is like to be part of the colors of Stephanie's life. Please, join us! We are confident that it is going to be an event to remember.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

By Kristopher Brus • September 13, 2020
It's been almost a year since Stephanie was first reported missing. With every day that passed, the search for her became more desperate. Immediately, family, friends, neighbors and acquaintances appeared out of nowhere to broaden the search for her. Even strangers, many who are now like family, came from near and far to help "Bring Steph Home". We are so blessed that so many wonderful and selfless people gave their own time and resources to find her. They are truly Steph's Angels. But, the sad truth is, there are many people who find themselves in a situation of domestic violence every day and don't see any way out. Whether it is because of fear or in the name of love, they endure the abuse. It's easy to look back in hindsight at all of the things one could have done or should have noticed, but that's not the way real life works. Only through knowledge, education, tangible resources and a strong support system can we possibly hope to win this war against domestic violence. Since October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we think it is the perfect time to provide a platform that gives victims a voice to speak for those who cannot by sharing their stories and their advice. Sharing seems to be a key word at this moment in time. The more that we share information through Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms, the more exposure our agenda, and this foundation, receives. Here is YOUR next "SHARE" opportunity: If you have been a victim of domestic violence, The Stephanie Nicole Parze Foundation wants to hear your story. Falling in line with our mission, we want people to hear firsthand how we can empower others to stop the violence. Please forward your blog submission sharing your personal experience in order to help others learn, grow and gain, to info@snpfoundation.org by October 1, 2020. As a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, The Stephanie Nicole Parze Foundation volunteers are experiencing a delay in their victim assistance training. As part of fulfilling our commitment to supplying tangible resources, if you are currently involved in a domestic violence situation and are in need of help, please reach out to the following organizations: For life threatening and urgent matters, please text or dial 911 to be connected to your nearest police department. In NJ: www.180nj.org 888-843-9262 Nationwide: www.thehotline.org 1-800-799-7233
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